As a child, I looked forward to Christmas. I remember how Christmas decor would be put up in our house in October during sem break, with Christmas carols filling the malls and toy stores as early as September. I'd have my letter to Santa written out in October after a lot of drafts since August and would be very sleepless on the 23rd of December as Christmas Eve was the highlight. As I didn't like going to school as a child, I looked forward to a longer vacation at home.
When adulthood came, the attitude towards Christmas did a 180. I was more stressed as the Christmas countdown started and dreaded each Christmas reunion/party/dinner I had to attend. My responses to "when are you having children" or "when are you gonna stop working" have morphed from diplomatic to the tone of cold, frank "shut up or I will murder you at this instant with no remorse" in every Holiday event I had to attend. Mall trips were becoming more stressful and grueling and I found myself getting poorer with each gift giving trip turning me into a modern-day Scrooge. I was my most
sungit, moody self in a very festive and family occasion.
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Adulting doesn't mean Scroogeing during Christmas.
It doesn't mean getting stressed or excessively spending too. |
To be honest, I wasn't alone in this. I know a number of people who dread the Holidays. Worse-case scenarios are the
Holiday blues, where episodes and relapses of depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns increase (and this is a real case). While yes, it is common among many that the Holidays has morphed into something stressful, there are still those who look forward to the Christmas spirit and we really don't want to dampen their experience just because it gives us stress and add more to the negative energy we are already experiencing. I didn't want to be a Scrooge anymore and last year I asked myself, "What was it during the Holidays and Christmas that caused me to feel like this?" Christmas alone isn't bad. It's a happy joyous occasion. If you are Catholic or Christian, there's a spiritual meaning to it, and to the religious eye, hating Christmas may warrant you a trip to the confessional or scolding from a religious
lola or
tita. So what made me become the adult who hated Christmas from the kid whose Christmas started that July afternoon drafting her first letter to Santa? It could be summarized to this -the stress. Yes the Holidays have become stressful and traffic just gets worse every year. There's also the pressure to complete your Christmas shopping gift list, and also the anxiety (if you are an introvert) to attend and may be participate in every Christmas gathering. Now that I have identified these, let's work our way on it, shall we?
Just go to the events you really want to go.
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| hey dollies, don't stress on parties, OK? |
Thankfully, since I am self-employed and do not work for a particular company, there is no need for me to join the awkwardness of parlor games or embarass myself in a Christmas program dancing to the dubstep or remix version of the song of the year. My job as a makeup artist conveniently has me at the supplier end of most events anyway so most of the time, I am not present in most parties. As an introvert, big crowds and loud noises exhaust me so I just choose where I want to be, preferably the chillest one with a small group. I would also just meet a few friends after Christmas for lunch or snacks. Also, If flitting from one party to the other stresses you out, just choose one or two to attend for the day or the week. It's quite impractical to spend less time on the actual parties and more time sitting in traffic or getting frustrated booking a Grab or Angkas just to get to there, right? If one event stresses you out, just don't go. These parties would continue on anyway and are not worth the stress if it doesn't spark you Holiday joy.
Shorten your gift list
When I travel, I don't buy
pasalubong and I don't expect to be given
pasalubong when my loved ones travel. Same principle I applied during holidays. In fact, I know a few colleagues who have stopped buying Christmas gifts. For them, it was pointless to get stressed buying little knick-knacks that would end up collecting dust or become trash later on. I still have some knick-knacks that I have no idea how I am going to use in storage. In reality, we don't have to give gifts to each teacher of our kids, each person in our department, the "sikyu sa tapat" or random people we meet in passing. Just give well thought-of gifts to people very close to you. Big families or family reunions also opt for just gift exchange or gift steal, where you just bring one gift for one person instead of bringing several small gifts for 50 people. Don't spend too much! Overspending can lead to depression.
With Gifts, Choose Something Consumable
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sweets treats make perfect gifts for the Holidays.
Cookies from I Want Chip |
Consumable items like food, sweets, pastries, etc. are safe (and inexpensive) because they get to be used right away, can be shared/served at home, and they don't end up collecting dust. You have various choices like beverage (coffee/tea/drink mixes), healthy (granola, sauces,salad dressings), sinful, etc. I started making soaps to give them as gifts as they have a longer shelf life than bottles of lotions or sprays. Also, even if I am a candle maker, I suggest giving candles to people you know who would really use them because I see a lot of candles just stocking up and collecting dust. Save the special Christmas gifts to someone you really hold close - your partner, spouse, parents, or child.
Consider alternative gifts
If you yourself don't want to receive material gifts, you can suggest to friends to still want to give you something to donate it to causes and charities close to your heart. Your barkada can also choose to just have a nice lunch as your gifts to each other. Cook for your family a special dish for Christmas lunch or dinner as your gift to them. Treat you
inaanaks to lunch or teach them a new skill you learned in a workshop you took. A friend of mine treated his staff to pizza lunch as his gift to them. With these type of gift giving, we lessen carbon footprint with less junk as well so yay for our planet!
Volunteer and spread Holiday cheer
For those based abroad who can't be home for Christmas or those that feel lonely during the Holidays, they can volunteer some time to help others. There are lots of NGOs and charity organizations that need a lot of help. Visit a nursing home, an orphanage, or animal shelter or just approach a friend who's part of an NGO and extend a helping hand. We all don't have to be alone.
Enjoy the present
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| Powerplant Mall has for me the cheeriest Christmas decor |
Do things that make you happy or enjoy the things you look forward to during the Holidays - eat your favorite puto bumbong and bibingka with a cup of hot salabat. Enjoy the holiday drinks at Starbucks whether or not you're collecting planner stickers. Watch the light show at Ayala Triangle or simply admire the Holiday decor at malls such as Powerplant Mall because being cat parents, we will never have nice decor as our cats will murder them in a minute or two.
As adults, we celebrate and view Christmas differently than we were kids but even with the over-commercialization the Holidays has been, we don't have to drain our bank accounts or exhaust ourselves to the point that we start hating an originally cheery occasion. Enjoy what you like about it, don't spread youself too thin and don't spend too much or drink too much alcohol. Love lots!
